Pat, a man in his late 30s was unhappy in his job, but felt he had few opportunities open to him. As a child his father had constantly berated him to the point that Pat was having not only a low opinion of himself, but a dark view of what the future could hold for “someone like him”. He drank sometimes to excess to heal the pain. After only about three session, Past was able to see his value. He began to appreciate his knowledge, skills, and attributes. He stated, “You’ve really helped me see all the opportunities out there that I had no idea existed.” Pat found a new job in about six months after our time together. His job is in a completely different field with much better pay and benefits. He came to grips with his drinking, stating, “This is just not who I am.”
In Need of a Career Change?
Cindy knew she needed a career change…or did she? Cindy was in IT, unhappy at work and restless. She knew she wanted to do more with her life but didn’t know what. Cindy soon revealed that her family had been in the medical profession and felt the work they did had an impact on people’s lives. They had made a difference and that’s what she wanted to do. Strangely enough, she had not even considered the medical field and coupling it with IT until we began exploring opportunities in both fields and she could use her talents to match them up and use both to engage in meaningful work. Further, the money she could make would help keep her on track for her life’s dream to teach in underprivileged communities in other countries. Cindy is now on track to explore areas in the medical field and still use her IT talents for work where she can make an impact.
Two CEO Offers
Sam was a Vice President in a financial institute. He thought his fellow executive team members were back stabbers, incompetent, and out to get him. He was miserable, full of mistrust, and lacking self-confidence to pursue a higher level in his career. Further, he felt he had to “play it safe” because he was on his second marriage with three children. He had a grown son from his first marriage. He was aware of the loss he could suffer by “messing up again.” After analyzing Sam’s assessments and working together for a few sessions, it became crystal clear that the work Sam was in was not his dream. His dream and talents lay in coaching, teaching, and helping others to grow.
Soon Sam realized that there were no knives in his back, and no one was out to get him. Because the entire executive team took the same battery of assessments, he could wee that his team was indeed a talented and competent group. His self-confidence began to grow, and he even became more patient with his children. His self-confidence grew so much that he began working toward being the CEO when the current one retired.
However, he didn’t go down that path long before he truly knew that was not what he wanted. He found a new job with a company offering training program in the financial industry. The day he got the job offer he was, of course, ecstatic. Even more good news came the day he gave his notice. The current CEO asked him to reconsider as he had Sam pegged to fill his shoes as the CEO when he retired. Amazing! Sam graciously refused, went to work for the training company and today is the CEO of that company!
The Doubting Client
Miranda recently got a lateral job change in South America where she works in Human Resources. She was not happy as she felt the job held no meaning and more importantly had no impact on business. Miranda was one of the more skeptical clients I’ve worked with as she did not see how I could possible use the assessments to help her especially with her being in South America and me being in North America. Miranda traveled to North America frequently and her English was also an issue. She didn’t trust me and was fearful that I would blab everything to her boss. I must admit, it took Miranda about four sessions before she realized that I was on her side and yet that she and could work together to help meet the outcomes of the sessions her boss desired.
Soon Miranda began to understand how her job and that the work she does makes a difference and impacts business. She gained self-confidence and began taking the lead on projects and made successful presentations she would never have considered making before. She began to understand how to lay out her career plans and take advantage of opportunities to become more visible, more approachable, and how to keep up with trends in both her industry and Human Resources. Her English is improving, and Miranda is now beginning to focus on taking her talents and hidden interest in psychology to new levels for both her work today and opening her own therapy business upon retirement.
The Lost and Confused Little Boy
Ital was here from Israel. He held a high-level security job the details of which I cannot betray here. The first session we had, he talked almost non-stop for the entire hour unburdening himself from pent up emotion. He was insecure about his current job, his future work, and he was unhappy in his marriage. Ital had so many concerns and so much stored emotion, I hardly knew where to begin. One of Ital’s major concerns was his career after his current duties were complete. We began exploring career opportunities for when he left the USA. Ital could not see that there would be any career opportunities open to him. This even though he had been an attorney, had extensive training from a prestigious security entity, speaks English well, is highly intelligent, handsome, and charming. He was still that lost and confused little boy.
It was difficult for me to comprehend where his fears stemmed. Eventually, he shared with me that when he was about eight years old, his father took him to a boarding school and left him there. Ital had no warning this was going to happen. When his father left, Ital was sitting alone on a bench in a long and dark hallway. His father did not bid him goodbye, there was no hug, no kiss on the cheek, and no “I’ll see you soon son.”…he just disappeared down the steps. It was years before he ever saw his father again. Certainly, we worked on the feelings surrounding that event and the trauma he felt as well as the hard feelings he still has for his father.
Unfortunately, Ital didn’t see the need to do his resume, even though he felt he needed one in English, and he was so sure there were no opportunities open to him and he wouldn’t be here that long anyway. Ital’s wife was in the same boat. She is highly educated. She didn’t like the job she had and wanted to work in the field of therapy where she had training. We worked on her resume and I set her up with some contacts. Unfortunately, she too became discouraged and went no further for the same reasons as Ital.
The family wound up staying here more than two years longer than they had anticipated. Ital’s wife could have had some valuable experience to her credit in that time to take back with her. That didn’t happen.
Ital did begin to address his feelings for his father and became more understanding of the times and circumstances surrounding his father’s decision. He finally came around to realizing that he could indeed pursue some opportunities and finally had me do his resume. He was pleased with it, others commented on how profession is, and even got his company to pay for it!
Although I’m not a marriage counselor, by administering psychometric assessments to both Ital and his wife, I helped them to understand their vastly different behavioral and communication styles. They began to better understand and adapt to one another’s styles. They are now happier and are expecting their third child any day now!
The Three Clients Client
Shaniqua had just been laid off. She was 60 years old, with only a high school diploma. She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to do, but thought she wanted to teach web technical skills to the average computer user. Off we went and she scheduled a class. Unfortunately, no one showed up. As we began working away, it became apparent that Shaniqua had a totally different idea that turned out to be her real dream. She often talked about how she loved to take Bible stories and use them to teach modern day lessons from them. Her eyes would light up as stars whenever she discussed the idea. This is a major clue I look for when helping people get out of their own way. I see the stars in their eyes about a certain topic, but they can’t see the stars because they are looking from the inside out. We began building the content for her website, she learned how to do and post podcasts about her topic and they are beautiful. Shaniqua slowly learned how to network and marketing herself without coming off as a pushy sales person. By the time we completed our time together she had three clients. She has never been happier having her own business and doing what she loves.
Chandra is VP of Compliance. When we first began working together, she was angry and that anger was typically directed at one of her coworkers and executive peers, Dave. Both reported directly to the CEO. According to Chandra, she did most of his work, he came in late and left early with no consequences, and he didn’t do his job. Further, she felt stuck and that she had no future either inside or outside of her company. Chandra was also dealing with the failing health of her mother.
The Compliant Compliance Officer
Chandra looked at everything as black or white. While the job she has fits that criteria, people and life don’t always follow the rules. We worked together to help her see that she is not responsible for Dave’s work and that is Dave’s responsibility. She learned to say, “No.” to Dave and that she no longer has to be compliant with the requests of others. The way he chooses to work is Dave’s business – not hers. The CEO is the one who is responsible for Dave’s production. Chandra became much more productive, her stress was much lower, and she began to interact with Dave on a more peer to peer level. She also complained about another peer who was always hiring people and she didn’t have enough help in her department. Chandra learned to ask for the help she needs for staffing.
Even more importantly, we explored career options and Chandra began to realize all that she has to offer and the opportunities open to her. This was important not only for Chandra’s self-confidence, but the company was making several acquisitions and she had an underlying fear of being replaced. We looked at how to “investigate” her equivalents in the companies to be acquired. She learned that none of them could hold a candle to her in experience or her level of expertise. Her self-confidence began to soar. She decided to go back to school. Chandra is now almost finished with school and she is now prepared to either stay in her current role by choice or seek employment elsewhere if necessary.